You’ve seen it many times. A champion boxer hangs up the gloves after a successful career. He sits around missing the action and, after deciding that the current crop of contenders couldn’t carry his water bucket, he comes back for one more shot at The Title. Some lucky ones succeed. Most wind up on the canvas. It’s a difficult thing to admit that you no longer have what it takes to be in the Main Event.

So it is with the Cigar Guys. After more than a year of retirement, we’re back in the ring for one last attempt at a credible Internet legacy. In fact, the topic that brings us back is boxing.

It is difficult to live in the Easton area and not have an interest in boxing. Easton is home to Larry Holmes, one of the great heavyweight champions. Holmes had many memorable fights but our favorite was his title defense against Gerry Cooney on June 11, 1982. “Gentlemen Gerry” came into the fight at 25 and 0 and was fresh off a one round knockout of Ken Norton. At 6 foot 5, Gerry was known as a real puncher and had 22 knockouts to prove it.

“I’m going to fight him like he was King Kong,” we recall Larry saying before the fight. And, that’s exactly what he did. Fighting with caution and purpose, Larry used his lightning-quick jab to keep Gerry at bay and eventually stopped him in the 13th round.

Last year, Joe had the opportunity to meet Gerry Cooney at a fundraiser. At 44, he is still trim (Gerry, not Joe) and exhibits the same boyish charm he did as a contender.

“So what are you doing now?” Joe asked Gerry as they both stood at the bar and attacked a plate of shrimp rolls with a fervor worthy of a championship fight.

“I’m involved with a charity called F.I.S.T.,” Gerry answered. “Fighters’ Institute for Support and Training.” He went on to explain that he founded F.I.S.T. in late 1998 to provide medical assistance, psychological counseling and vocational training to fighters who lack the resources needed for a successful transition away from boxing.

“We’re having a fundraiser in the Easton area. Why don’t you come?” Gerry suggested.

Joe did exactly that. He was treated to an interesting evening with Gerry, Larry Holmes, Randall “Tex” Cobb, Vito Antefuermo, Iran Barkley, Emile Griffith, Saoul Mamby, Joey Giardello, and others. Gerry carried around a mile-long cigar for most of the night. He looked like a cigar aficionado.

He apparently is because his next F.I.S.T. event was a Cigar Night in New York City. It sounded like something we did not want to miss. Joe got Bill to join him for this one.

A trip into Manhattan is always an adventure. It starts with an hour wait at the Lincoln Tunnel followed by an ongoing game of chicken as you weave your way across town. Once you arrive at your destination, you earn the privilege of paying $30 for parking. It’s no big deal. You do what you have to do if you want to enjoy some fellowship and a good cigar.

The event was held at Club 151 on East 51st Street. It featured an open bar, hors d’oeuvres, and all of the Punch cigars you could smoke. We arrived promptly at 7:00 P.M. The room was already filled with smoke from the aromatic, full-flavored Hondurans.

A tape of the 1982 Cooney-Holmes fight was playing at the front of the room. The voice of Howard Cosell brought back memories. We watched the tape along with Gerry, Larry Holmes and a few of the other early birds. Larry seemed to be enjoying it a lot more than Gerry was. Joe tried to wager Bill on the outcome but someone ejected the tape and inserted one of the Holmes-Ali fight.

Joe offered Gerry a Cuban Por Larranaga. The cigar had had a tough journey to America. It was dry and burned poorly. Gerry seemed to enjoy it anyway. He nodded his thanks. The man is such a gentleman; it’s hard to believe he once hit guys in the head for a living.

The room was starting to fill up and we began to seek out some of the celebrities who were there. All were friendly and accommodating.

Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling from the Howard Stern show wandered by followed by a swarm of good-looking women.

“Hey, Jackie, how ‘bout a picture?” we asked.

“That’s what I’m here for,” he answered politely. His response was typical.

The Nets’ Jayson Williams was entertaining a group with funny stories. His new book, “Loose Balls”, is a hoot. Jayson is blessed with an incredible sense of humor and a dedication to worthwhile causes. He frequently raffles off parties at his home with the proceeds going to charity.

He once donated several million dollars to his alma mater, Saint John’s University.

“Why did you do that?” Larry Holmes supposedly asked him. “They give you the same plaque for $5,000.”

If Larry did, in fact, say that, he was probably being facetious. He supports a number of charities himself. He also wrote a book. It’s entitled “Against the Odds”. It’s a hard-hitting look at boxing - and life. You’ll enjoy it.

Joe headed off to meet Jake LaMotta while Bill was having his picture taken with last year’s Penthouse Pet of the Year. Jake is now 80 with 106 fights and six marriages to look back on. His career was memorialized in the great DiNiro film, Raging Bull. Rent the tape if you’ve never seen it. Jake sparred with DiNiro to help him prepare for the role.

Joe recognized another familiar face. It was Chuck Wepner, the Bayonne Bleeder. Chuck’s 1975 fight against Muhammad Ali is said to be the original inspiration for “Rocky”. The big bartender almost went the distance against The Greatest.

Joe has a great picture from the Ali-Wepner fight and reached into his bag to get it autographed. It wasn’t there. Joe had left it on his desk.

“No problem,” Bill said. “I’ll get a picture of the two of you together and you can put it in the same frame as the other one.”

It sounded good. Chuck posed with Joe and Bill fumbled with the camera. After what seemed like a millennium or two, he finally got the shot. The picture is sharp but did not achieve the desired effect. It is difficult to recognize Chuck with his head missing.

The evening progressed and we struck up conversations with the other guests. We reminisced with them about great fights and great cigars. There were many in attendance who were knowledgeable about both.

Joe overheard someone mention the former WBC Jr. Welterweight Champion, Saoul Mamby. Joe had been a fan of Mamby’s and had met him at the previous F.I.S.T. event.

Eager to display his expertise, Joe asked the stranger, “Remember his 1984 fight in Kingston, N.Y. against Billy Costello?”

“Of course,” the stranger replied. “Billy put on a great show for the fans in his hometown. I’ll never forget the uppercut that Billy landed on Mamby’s jaw in the 11th round. Blood flew everywhere but Mamby wouldn’t go down.”

“Do you know that Billy had less than a week to prepare for Saoul?” another fellow chimed in. “He was supposed to fight Leroy Haley, but Haley injured his hand and Mamby was a last minute replacement. CBS didn’t want to postpone the fight.”

Damn, these guys were good. They looked at Joe waiting for an informed response. He was prepared.

“That injury was very suspicious,” Joe said with conviction. “Some think Haley was pressured by Don King to pull out to make way for Mamby who was managed by King’s stepson.”

The two nodded their agreement. Joe puffed on his Punch and walked away triumphantly. He had held his own.

A disc jockey put on some music. Someone coaxed the Pet of the Year onto the dance floor. She was truly a knockout in her long, white dress. Bill went back for another picture with her.

We caught site of Bert Sugar. Bert is easy to pick out in a crowd. Just look for a big, wide-brimmed hat and a giant cigar. (Can you find his cameo in the Harrelson-Banderas flick, “Play it to the Bone”?) Bert has authored dozens of sports books and is an expert on boxing history. He is the former editor of Ring Magazine and the executive editor of Fight Game Magazine. Despite a career that is now in its fourth decade, he was showing some impressive moves on the dance floor.

We interrupted him for a quick conversation and a picture. He was glad to oblige. He seemed to enjoy mugging for the camera. Joe took a great shot of Bert and Bill. Bill reciprocated with a blurred, off-center image of what appears to be Joe and Bert, but we can’t say for certain.

Bill participated in the silent auction. There were lots of autographed pictures and other memorabilia, but the bidding was spirited. A large, beautifully framed and autographed photo of Ali standing over a vanquished Sonny Liston eventually fetched $3,000. The Cigar Guys aren’t pikers but that kind of pocket money is a bit out of our league.

We made small talk with Bobby Cycz, Carl “The Truth” Williams and several current and former New York Jets. The crowd began to thin as it approached 11:00 P.M. Bill did not want to leave until they announced the winning numbers for some raffle tickets he was holding.

Joe found an empty seat while Bill waited to see if he had won one of several pairs of gloves signed by various boxing greats. An attractive lady sat down next to Joe and struck up a conversation. She leaned over, held out a cigarette and asked for a light. Before Joe could find his Quantum lighter, Bill pulled the trigger on his Prometheus and raked her hand with a long, invisible flame. She made a hasty retreat muttering something unintelligible under her breath. The last syllable sounded like “hole”. If the Cigar Guys ever find themselves back in circulation, it’s going to be tough sledding.

The evening ended shortly thereafter and we started home. We sat patiently at midnight on the approach to the Lincoln Tunnel as six lanes slowly merged into one. The last of the Punches helped pass the time. After a 50-minute wait, we headed into the tunnel towards New Jersey and back into retirement.

Bill was downcast. He missed the column, the email and the free cigars. “You know,” he said thoughtfully as we exited on the Jersey side. “Larry Holmes has retired at least three times. He’s 50 now and, he could still come back. Retirement isn’t necessarily permanent. People change their minds all the time.” He nodded to himself several times, smiled contentedly and started snoring.

It just doesn’t get any better.

The Cigar Guys

P.S. F.I.S.T. is a nonprofit organization and survives on donations and fundraisers. It currently serves a caseload of more than 40 ex-fighters. If you’d like to learn more about F.I.S.T., attend its next fundraiser, or make a tax-deductible gift, you can contact the organization at 888-765-FIST.

By the way, Larry Holmes fought again on November 17, 2000. He knocked out Mike Weaver in the sixth round of a scheduled 10 rounder.

You can The Cigar Guys at: tbill@enter.net for any comments or questions.

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