In conjunction with our recent trip to the Bahamas, we spent a couple of days in Greater Miami. Despite the notoriety prompted by "Miami Vice" and some much publicized reports of attacks on tourists, we found the Miami area to be an exciting, multicultural experience.

The excitement started immediately upon check-in at The Hotel National, a 1940's beach front hotel that has been beautifully refurbished and is run by a first-rate staff. We turned on the TV and there were live shots of a beached freighter right outside our hotel. We looked out our window and there it was, surrounded by police, hazmat teams and some crazy bathers who were getting a rush swimming around the floundering craft.

The same ship had beached itself in the Miami River a year earlier. At that time, they found dead bodies aboard. It is reportedly under new ownership. No dead bodies were found this time. Things have obviously improved under the new management.

Aside from nice hotels and wayward freighters, there are a host of great cigar stores in the Miami area. Many are run by Cuban expatriates and their descendants. The proprietors were typically friendly, knowledgeable and helpful. One shop we particularly enjoyed was the South Beach Cigar Factory on Collins Avenue.

We were surprised to find that many of the shops carried Pheasants, a cigar that we peddle during our monthly Cigar Nites at a local bar. Pheasants are imported from Honduras. The wrapper is Connecticut shade. We find them to be relatively mild when compared to other Honduran handmades. Our Cigar Nite participants seem to like them. We've sold about 20 and all of them except one burned nicely. Pheasants are produced by R. D. Gomez. In addition to selling cigars, Gomez offers a line of leather cigar accessories which are imported from Spain. We saw some handsome three-finger cases with the Pheasant logo that went for about $90.

We bought some Ramon Cifuentes Churchills at one store and some Schimmelpenninck VSOP's at another.

The Cifuentes is a new cigar that was recommended by the store owner. It is made in Jamaica by General Cigar Company. We won't buy them again. The Connecticut wrappers looked good but the cigars were rolled too loosely. About halfway through, the cigars got hot, bitter and mushy.

The Schimmelpennincks come from the Netherlands wrapped in white tissue paper with the band on the outside similar to the Cuban Fonsecas. They are machine made with short filler. The VSOP's are about 5" long and thin; kind of a cigarillo grande. They were tasteless, dry and boring but they will make a visually interesting addition to your humidor. (In actuality, you don't even have to waste humidor space on them since they are dry cured.)

By the way, if you are ever in Miami, you've got to try authentic Cuban coffee. It will jump-start your morning. We bet it would go well with a Montecristo pyramid or a Bolivar Coronas Gigantes.

Upon our return from Florida, we got an offer in the mail that even we thought was a bit much. It seems we are eligible for the Platinum Cigar Visa Card. (We never heard of a Platinum cigar. Shouldn't it be the Platinum Visa Cigar Card? Let's hear from you English teachers.) The card comes in three different designs: the Montecristo design; the H. Upmann design; and the Cigar Lover's design which features an assortment of brands. You can order up to two additional cards at no extra cost but it is not clear whether all three cards must be the same design. You will receive a free pack of four Montecristo coronas after you use your new card. If you feel you simply must have one of these cards in your wallet, contact the First USA Bank in Wilmington, Delaware.

The wives think we are wasting too much time and money on cigars and this column. They are tired of waiting outside cigar stores wherever and whenever we travel. "Why don't you give it up?" they're asking. "Nobody reads your stupid column anyway."

Despite recent communications from remote locations such as Iceland and the Bahamas, we couldn't convince them that anybody cared. Accordingly, we made up the following letter and E-mailed it to ourselves:

It just keeps getting better and better.

The Cigar Guys

PS . Happy Holidays to everyone. By the way, check out ESPN's Pigskin Picks on ESPN's home page. The Cigar Guys dusted thirty one competitors in the Cigar Guys' pro division.

P.S.S. We like the Broncos to win the whole enchilada. We're holding S $25 Las Vegas future at 5 to 2. ( We lost the Giants 80 to 1 ticket)

You can The Cigar Guys at: tbill@enter.net for any comments or questions.

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