The only way we could get the wives to stop complaining about the way we treated them on our last trip to Nassau (See entry No. 11, October 1997.) was to take them again. January is a harsh month in the Northeast anyway, so we didn't mind.

This time we stayed at Breezes on Cable Beach. The beach got its name in 1892 when a submarine telegraph cable was laid between Jupiter, Florida and Goodman's Bay. The area where the cable came ashore on New Providence Island was renamed Cable Beach. The cable worked for a little more than a decade but the name stuck.

Breezes is a "super-inclusive" resort which means you can eat, drink and party all you want and it's all included in your basic room rate. Immediately after check-in, we headed down for a buffet lunch. Some guy in a bathing suit who had to weigh 400 pounds came up to Joe and complimented him on how efficiently he had loaded up his plate. Praise from Caesar! It was an auspicious beginning.

We had brought some cigars with us and after lunch sampled some $8 Credo Double Coronas. These handsome cigars made their debut in 1993. They are manufactured in the Dominican Republic from Dominican filler and binder with a Connecticut wrapper. We have never had a cigar that burned better. Despite the superior construction, the cigars were mild to a fault. This is a good selection for those of you who like to walk around all day with an unlit cigar. It doesn't make any difference if you light this one or not - it tastes the same either way.

After the Credos, we were ready for something with a little more flavor. As we mentioned in entry no. 11, counterfeit Cuban cigars are reportedly widespread on the island so we checked out several places that had been recommended to us.

The Tropique International Smoke Shop at the Nassau Marriott Resort on Cable Beach guarantees the authenticity of its Habanos. It is an upscale shop with a Havana-trained staff and a broad selection of Cuban cigars and tobacco accessories. While you are there, you can try your luck at the Crystal Palace Casino or place a wager on your favorite team at the sports book.

The spectacular Atlantis Hotel on nearby Paradise Island offers cigars at two locations. A humidor in the lobby contains a fine selection of Cohibas. The gift shop stocks a small but worthwhile assortment of some of the better-known Cuban brands. You can also gamble at the Atlantis Casino, but we found the slots to be much looser at the Crystal Palace.

The Pipe of Peace on Bay Street in Old Nassau sells all of the popular Cuban brands as well as some of the lesser known ones such as Fonsecas. If you like a really full flavored smoke, try the Bolivars. The shop also houses a large inventory of Tee shirts. Expect to pay about $21 to $22 for Cohiba Robustos and up to about $30 for Esplendidos at the above locations. Partagas, Romeo y Julietas and the other well known Habanos were typically in the mid to high teens.

A cab driver offered us "Cohiba Robustos" at $10 each but we politely declined. When we asked why he was selling them so cheaply, he replied simply, "I got a good deal on them."

The premium prices prompted us to try some machine-made Cuban Belindas and Hoyo de Monterreys in the $7 to $9 range. They had caps similar to handmades and decent wrappers. They may have been machine bunched and hand finished but we're not really sure. They burned reasonably well and tasted pretty good to us. In all honesty, we wonder if any cigar is worth $30.

After visiting the cigar shops we headed for the straw market on Bay Street. Scores of women and a somewhat smaller number of men hawk their wares from tiny stalls. You can find hats, baskets, bags, sweatshirts and a host of other items. All prices are negotiable and haggling with vendors is part of the fun. We stopped at one stall that had some sweatshirts that the wives liked. The negotiations started at $25 per shirt and stalled at $21. Bill wanted one last nibble.

"Find me a bargain on a Cuban cigar," Bill said to the woman, "and you've got your yourself a deal."

The woman shook her head and muttered, "I've never had to work so hard on a sale in my life."

Nonetheless, she motioned for us to follow her. We walked outside the plaza, down the block and stopped at a stall at the corner. A young fellow pulled out a box filled with a motley assortment of dry cigars with frayed wrappers. We weren't interested.

"Give me a break, mon," the young lady pleaded. "I've got three kids to support." Suddenly, three young boys came out of the woodwork and stood by her side. It was great entertainment. We gave in and handed her $21 for each shirt. She went back to her stall and the three youngsters disappeared.

We wandered past a few more stalls until we were greeted by a smiling fellow who introduced himself as Cheap Charlie. We looked up and there were the same sweatshirts that we had just purchased.

"How much for those?" we asked.

"Twenty dollars" he proposed. It looked like $16 or $17 would be the real figure. The young lady had played us like a violin.

We got all of the shopping out of the way and then spent the next day at the beach. We relaxed under the shade of a thatch and smoked one of our Purchases. Bill was intrigued by the Parasailing going on in the bay. "I'm going to smoke my cigar 300 feet in the air", he suddenly announced. He wandered down to the water's edge, handed a guy $45 and hopped into a boat with several other people.

The boat began a slow circuit of the bay. With each circuit, a person was harnessed to a colorful parachute and launched off the back of the boat much like a kite. Eventually, it was Bill's turn.

It took alot of wind to launch Bill. The boat's engine whined, its bow lifted out of the water and Bill's feet skimmed along the water's surface. Finally, the wind caught the chute and Bill was 500 feet or so in the air. People on the beach looked up to see what was blocking the sun.

Bill's cigar was long gone. So were his brains. One of the locals told me that only a fool would go up in winds like these. Bill was buffeted about but made it down safely.

Bill seemed a little weak in the knees as he climbed out of the boat. I checked the back of his swimsuit. It was clean. He took a second to let the adrenaline return to normal and then we headed off for another cigar and the open bar.

It just doesn't get any better.

The Cigar Guys

P. S. Entry no. 13 was late being posted, but we actually made our Superbowl pick and bought that Denver future prior to the Pittsburgh game. The modest payout was an excuse to smoke those Don Pablos from Las Vegas. They were OK but nothing exceptional. They would have probably tasted alot better if the Giants had come through at 80 to 1.

Also check out ESPN's homepage and sign up for the Pizza Hut Tournament. You then can join the Cigar Guys Group and fill out the brackets who you think will win the 1998 NCAA Championship. Use your knowledge to try beat the Cigar Guys. The winners name will appear in a up coming entry. GOOD LUCK !!!!!

You can The Cigar Guys at: tbill@enter.net for any comments or questions.

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