LIGHTen UP with The Cigar Guys

October 1997

After the excitement of our first cigar night, we needed a break. This time, it was off to the Bahamas by way of Carnival Cruise Lines. We left from Miami on the Ecstasy, a ship of 70,000 tons with a passenger capacity of approximately 2000. Despite its impressive size, cigar smokers are a bit cramped. Cigar smoking is only allowed in the Society Bar, a dinky little place with about 12 stools located in a high traffic area on the promenade deck. All other areas, including the decks, are off limits. We abstained from smoking until reaching the Bahamas.

The Bahamas are an archipelago of more than 700 islands that begins in the Atlantic Ocean about 50 miles off the east coast of Florida and extends in a southeasterly arc 760 miles to the Caribbean Sea. We docked at Nassau on New Providence Island approximately 200 miles from Miami.

Nassau, the capital of the Bahamas, is more than 300 years old and exhibits much charm. Cars drive on the left; colonial buildings abound; and police wear white jackets and tropical pith helmets.

Most of the stores in Nassau are situated along an eight block stretch of Bay Skeet in the old section of the city. Signs announcing "Cuban Cigars" proliferated. We stopped in a few shops. Many of the humidors were makeshift. A sponge in a glass seemed to be a common means of humidification.

We had to inquire about the prices. "How much for the Esplendidos?" we asked at several places. The answer seemed to vary depending on how prosperous, anxious and stupid we looked. The range was $32 to $50. We passed. Our $6 Rough Riders would have to do. ("Real cigars for real men.")

After an afternoon at Blue Lagoon Island and a formal dinner on the ship, we broke the news to the wives. Despite the fact that we would only be in Nassau for one night, we had made arrangements to meet Ken, a Bahamian who had read our column and E-mailed an invitation to call him if we ever made it to Nassau. The wives were pissed. This was going to be worse than the Coki's Beach fiasco. (See entry no.7.)

We exited the gangway. A smiling local queried passengers as they disembarked. "Internet Cigar Group? "Internet Cigar Group?", he asked each passenger in succession. It was Ken. We introduced ourselves and headed off to a local pub with Ken and his friend, Earnest.

Ken took us to a place called "The Green Shutters, a splendid English pub on Parliament Street. It featured such "British National Treasures" as bangers and mash; bubble and squeak; and steak and kidney pie. We settled for spicy Buffalo wings and pints of Foster's.

Ken presented each of us with a handsome Punch double corona. We lit up. The medium flavored cigars had an easy draw and burned beautifully. The pleasant aroma caught the attention of a British sailor at the bar. "Where did you fellows get those fine looking cigars?", he asked. We pointed to Ken. Then came the shocker.

"Best fakes on the island", Ken announced.

"Fakes?" we gasped.

"Sure," Ken responded. "Many of the Habanos sold on Bay Street are fakes as well, particularly the large Cohibas. But, whatever you do, don't buy any cigars off the street. Those are surely fakes."

Ken went on to explain that we were in fact smoking Cuban cigars although they were not Punches. "Only a small portion of the Cuban cigars made each year are exported--basically those made at the six Havana factories. They receive the finest tobacco and employ the best rollers. These cigars were made outside the Havana factories but were fitted with counterfeit bands..

As we talked further, we found that Ken was quite the connoisseur. He showed us the private room at the pub where his cigar club meets. In addition, he periodically organizes cigar dinners on the island. He is currently working on one that will take place at the Marriott Crystal Palace Hotel on December 27. For you Carnival cruisers, the Ecstasy will be in town that night.

The December dinner sounds like quite an affair. Black tie. Five course gourmet meal. Wines, cognacs and a specially selected cigar for each course. In addition, there will be a demonstration by a cigar roller from E1 Laguito (where Lanceros are made), a talk by a representative of Habanos S.A. (the official marketing organization for Cuban cigars) and entertainment throughout the evening (including a full cabaret, Caribe Calor, direct from Havana).

We were enjoying the fellowship, but it was time to get back to the wives. Ken drove us back to the dock where he was stopped at the gate by a female security guard. "I'm taking these gentlemen back to the ship", Ken said to the guard. "But since you made me stop, why don't you just come over here and give me a big kiss on the cheek," Sure enough, the guard complied. This guy had juice.

We said goodbye to Ken and Earnest and met the wives. Ice city! They wouldn't talk to us. We could handle it.

"Come on!" we said. "The night is still young. We'll take a cab to the Atlantis and you can both set the itinerary for the rest of the vacation."

The wives loosened up and we headed off to the Atlantis on Paradise Island. The Atlantis hotel-casino is impressive, but its grounds are positively spectacular. Walkways encircle (and in some cases go under) man-made lagoons filled with sharks, rays, sea turtles and tropical fish. There is an abundance of waterfalls, pools and scenic overlooks. It is a virtual fantasy world. If you are in Nassau, don't miss it.

We returned to the dock sometime after midnight and were greeted by a pleasant young man. "Welcome to the Bahamas." he said. "Would you two gentlemen be interested in some Cuban cigars?"

We recalled Ken's warning. We looked the young fellow in the eye and replied, "We'll bet you that we are more Cuban than those cigars are."

His lips curled in a wry smile. "Enjoy the rest of your stay" he replied politely, then turned away in search of another mark.

It just doesn't get any better.

The Cigar Guys

P.S. If you want to learn more about the Yuletide Cigar Dinner, call 809/325-6616 and ask for Mrs.. Carey.

The Cigar Guys salute quarterback Glenn Foley on his gutsy second half performance against New England. Go Jets!

You can Bill@Enter.netfor any comments or questions.