The Cigar Guys Entry No. 12
September 1997

This is our first anniversary on this web page. Since we started writing this column, people have: Complimented the column for its substance; sought our advice on how to build a $10,000 humidor; sent us cigars to review; invited us to cigar shows; asked us to become partners in a new cigar store; threatened to sue us for using their trademark; submitted countless entries to our dopey contest. Not bad for some guys who didn't know the difference between a Te-amo Corona and a Toyota Corolla until two years ago, don't you think? Nonetheless, we're not ones to rest on our laurels. We've decided to enter the cigar business, albeit in a small way. What follows will, no doubt, serve as a tutorial for aspiring entrepreneurs everywhere.

After convincing the owner of a popular local bar to allow us to place a humidor in his establishment, we purchased $400.00 worth of assorted cigars for resale. Our selection included the following:

• Mayorgas
• Rough Riders (see entry # 11)
• Napas
• Pheasants

Yeah. We know. They're not exactly household names, but we test smoked all of them and they seemed fine. Besides, it is very difficult right now to get well known handmades at reasonable prices and virtually impossible for guys like us to get them at a discount. In any event, the concept was simple. Buy mid priced cigars near wholesale. Mark them up. Split the profits with the bar. Assuming that we turned over our inventory monthly, the return on investment would be staggering.

We had an auspicious beginning. We stopped to get gas while making our initial delivery. The gas station owner saw the clear plastic humidor on the front seat and purchased a cigar. A customer overheard the conversation and also made a purchase. This was a no brainer.

How could we miss?

We set up our humidor in the bar and went home to plan the Caribbean trip that we were going to finance with the proceeds. We called the bar the next day to see how our enterprise was doing. Much to our shock, the owner informed us that the bar had been robbed during the night. The register had been broken into along with the pinball machine. Our cigars, however, were untouched. Either they were overlooked or our selection was so bad that even a thief wouldn't be caught smoking one.

By the end of the first week, the bar had only sold a few cigars. We had done better at the gas station. Something had to be done to promote our product. We talked the owner into having a cigar night on the second Monday of each month, 7:00 PM until closing. We put up a sign inside the bar and a large sign outside. Cigars and Monday night Football. Now we were smoking, literally and figuratively.

The big night finally came and we entered the bar with high expectations. About fifteen people were present including two local doctors (a fact that should calm some of you worrywarts). It seemed to be a good group and we were looking forward to an evening of camaraderie. Bill sees a couple of friends and begins passing out some free cigars from his pocket.

"What the hell are you doing?" I exclaimed pointing to the humidor.
"Seed tobacco".  He reassured me.

Finally, someone bought a Pheasant for $8.00. He lit it up and a hole burned right up the center in about 5 minutes. It looked like it had been bored out with an auger. Of course, the cigar immediately became a conversation piece. We assured everyone that this was an anomaly and gave the customer a replacement. The second cigar was fine and he went away happy. We put away the faulty cigar to show to our supplier.

Two fellows with long hair and an impressive assortment of tattoos asked us for a recommendation. We sold them a Rough Rider and a Pheasant. They put the cigars in their pockets and said they were leaving to go smoke them down by the river. So much for camaraderie.

Things began to pick up around 9:30PM. We took a count. We had sold a total of twelve cigars (excluding the faulty Pheasant) or about 0.75 cigars per customer. Not great but the night seemed to be gathering momentum. We looked up and there was the bartender cleaning up and clearing everything away. It was 10:00 PM and he wanted to go home. We never said we lived in an action-packed metropolis. Why do you think we take so many trips?

At least we had our advertisement for next month:

"Cold beer, fine cigars and the first half of Monday Night Football".

The Cigar Guys
Joe, Bill and Bruce

PS Check out ESPN's web page for Pigskin Picks and College Picks to see how the Cigar Guys are doing. Also if you live in North West New Jersey and want to join the Cigar Guys at Cigar Night , drop us some e-mail.